I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
