the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
