The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
