My girlfriend figured out who you are.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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