Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
