Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
