I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
only if we run a train.
done.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
