Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
