Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
