He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
