Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I intend to get homeless drunk
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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