i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
