If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
