We're facebook friends in real life
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
