He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
