I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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