i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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