I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
