You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
