Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
