Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
