Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
