I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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