I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
