fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
