i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
