I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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