that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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