You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My vagina is officially offended.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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