They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
even my farts smell like vagina
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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