You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
