it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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