When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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