do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I can text with my tongue
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
