he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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