Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
