Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
