Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Randomize
