i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
