Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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