i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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