You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
