last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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