Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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