TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
