So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
