She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you never un-have a 4some
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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