I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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