i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
