Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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