She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
